War of Emotions

Growing up, I've had very few people in my life that could really be called friends. The last time was around 9 or 10 years ago. In grade school. Imagine that. Friends are temporary.

We moved around a lot. So that was partly to blame. Our attitudes adapted accordingly. Why make friends if we'll only know them for a few months, or a year at the most. Growing up with about 10 elementary schools, 3 middle schools, and 2 high schools under your belt is not something to be recommended if keeping good relationships is in your best interest.

If you have that kind of childhood, you grow up fragmented. Unless, you've been taught to trust only in the stable, and unmoving.

Immediate family comes to mind first, then close relatives. But, what if you have no relatives nearby as a cause of all the moving around? God will never abandon a humble soul that trusts Him fully. Your family may leave you, but Our Lord will remain.

My dad became a believer just about 12 years ago. He slowly but surely brought my mom, brothers, and I to the light. Not always cheerfully, but always. This was after his sickness. High blood pressure, ulcers, thyroid problems. It brings to mind that, like most of us, we don't learn from other's mistakes like the wise should. For most of us, it takes a calamity. Be it sickness, death of a loved one, poverty, or addiction to bring us to Jesus' feet.

"It is true that repentance does precede
the forgiveness of sins; for it is only the broken and
contrite heart that will feel the need of a Saviour. But must
the sinner wait till he has repented before he can come to
Jesus? Is repentance to be made an obstacle between the
sinner and the Saviour?"

We can come to The Lord just as we are. We step into the shower dirty, but we don't stay that way. If you truly let Jesus into your heart you will become a new person, not through your will but through His. It will be him that lives in you. It will be him that moves your every thought and action. You will finally be able to love your brother as yourself.

It is impossible for us to love one another the way Jesus loves us. Our humanity is so corrupt. We murder each other multiple times every day with our thinking. Our hidden motives. Only God has access to read what is in people's hearts. Only God can change us from the inside. It takes nothing less than a miracle to make a stubborn, self-righteous alcoholic do a complete 180 and become a loving, selfless, and charitable human being.

I love my Heavenly Father, because he changed my earthly father into someone I want to be like.